tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5977318897582605702024-03-05T01:17:43.303-06:00My Cubicle Mind[a view from behind impermanent walls]matt ruthermanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11452305801848754809noreply@blogger.comBlogger70125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-597731889758260570.post-4857992692050537162013-02-28T18:22:00.002-06:002013-02-28T18:22:31.809-06:00Mmm, negligence<style> <!--
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="font-size: small;">Jennifer hasn’t
spoken to Barbara in a week or so.<span>
</span>Jennifer called Rachel last night to see if she could babysit. <span> </span>Barbara was on the phone and neither of
them knew it.<span> </span>Jennifer said it
would only be until ten, then Rachel could leave.<span> </span>The thing is, Jennifer wasn’t going to be back at ten.<span> </span>“Well, they’ll just go to sleep after
that,” she explained.<span> </span>Then Brenda
cut in and blew up at her about not taking care of her kids.<span> </span>Jennifer got defensive, said, “I’m not
talking to you about this.<span> </span>I got
somebody else to watch them.” <span> </span> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";"> This
has court case written all over it. </span></span></div>
matt ruthermanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11452305801848754809noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-597731889758260570.post-64377374843833253752013-02-28T18:11:00.001-06:002013-02-28T18:11:45.384-06:00Cs make degrees<style> <!--
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">Barbara was
talking to Rachel about her failing grades.<span> </span>Rachel’s excuse was “I was tired, I didn’t feel like doing
it.”<span> </span>And Barbara accepted that.<span> </span>I’m not saying she was happy about it,
but she didn’t scold her or anything.<span>
</span>Granted, none of this should be happening on the phone while she’s at
work, but…</span></span></div>
matt ruthermanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11452305801848754809noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-597731889758260570.post-17253670157923865222013-02-19T17:44:00.002-06:002013-02-19T17:44:39.550-06:00That's why teachers earn the big bucks<style> <!--
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-size: small;">Barbara’s
talking about a five year old that she knows who “talks big.”<span> Barbara</span> was surprised to hear her say that
school was going to be “exciting.”<span>
</span>Eventually, Barbara said that she doesn’t even think the little girl is in preschool.<span> </span>“I think her mom teaches her
stuff.”<span> </span>She said it like she was
shocked at the concept.</span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><span style="font-size: small;"> </span>
</span></span></div>
matt ruthermanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11452305801848754809noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-597731889758260570.post-67150774510403478892013-02-19T17:41:00.001-06:002013-02-19T17:41:34.847-06:00Concerned for the wrong reason<style> <!--
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">Barbara is
giving Rachel the third degree about why she got a B on her AP Econ test.<span> </span>She is wondering how she was able to
get such a high grade when she is doing so poorly in the class.<span> </span>I’m glad it was always the opposite
with my parents.<span> </span></span></span></div>
matt ruthermanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11452305801848754809noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-597731889758260570.post-53571733535163161602013-02-14T18:25:00.000-06:002013-02-14T18:59:36.642-06:00Machine Gun Eileen<style> <!--
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: small;">An older
co-worker speaks like machine gun bursts.
She won’t wait her turn. I
find conversations go like this;</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: small;">“Hey, older
co-worker,”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">Yessir</span></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: small;">“I finished with
the”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">Oh you finished
awesome</span></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: small;">“stuff you
needed me to do but”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">Uhoh is there a
problem</span></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: small;">“I have a
question about this address on”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">Which one? That
one?</span></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: small;">“The last
one. Should I use”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">Whyntcha just do
it as is and I’ll let them correct me?</span></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: small;">“The full P.O.
box or just a partial since it doesn’t fit?” </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: small;">It's exhausting </span><br />
<br /></div>
matt ruthermanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11452305801848754809noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-597731889758260570.post-24442679831150893072013-02-12T17:52:00.002-06:002013-02-12T17:56:45.441-06:00Tidbits<style> <!--
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">Barbara thinks
her fish is smart because he floats to the surface when she gets the food out
at the same time every day. </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span>
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<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% white; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman";">So
Jennifer left her kids alone the other day. One of the neighbor kids came over and Sebastian ended up
with two staples in his head because he "fell off a stool." Now there is talk at the apartment
complex of calling CPS. </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% white; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br />
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% white; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">We just taught
Barbara how to copy/paste on her computer. First we had to teach her how to right click. Forget about keyboard shortcuts.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span>
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<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">Barbara is
asking Rachel about her grades.
The funny part is, Barbara can’t even pronounce most of the classes
she’s asking her about. Microkenomics?
Not sure I’m familiar with that one. </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
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<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">Terry showed us
some family photos he had taken at a department store. I could have taken more appealing
pictures of salted meats. </span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";"> </span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span>matt ruthermanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11452305801848754809noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-597731889758260570.post-73736684376436795572013-02-11T19:34:00.001-06:002013-02-11T19:34:42.386-06:00Down goes SherriBarbara - Sherri sprang [sic] both her ankles!<br />
<br />
She did, according to at least one doctor, sprain both her ankles. This is round one of what will go on to be a very rocky relationship between Sherri and her employment. matt ruthermanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11452305801848754809noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-597731889758260570.post-25837738517917534612013-02-11T19:26:00.001-06:002013-02-11T19:26:25.825-06:00Character Introduction<h4>
Sherri</h4>
The receptionist. A strange position for a department that has no other contact with customers directly, she answers phones and possibly greets visitors. Sherri is a short woman with long, poofy, gray hair and some children who are too old to be living at home. If she misses a day of work, Barbara fills in the role. I've already seen two new receptionists in the time I've been here. There's friction. matt ruthermanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11452305801848754809noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-597731889758260570.post-8008625354461985022013-02-07T21:00:00.000-06:002013-02-07T21:00:03.681-06:00La sal de la tierra<style> <!--
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">The guys who
came to clean windows in the office, not the outside windows, but the windows
that separate us from our superiors, they have interesting conversation.<span> </span>They were talking about how strange it
would be to see the people they work with in a suit.<span> </span>Apparently, they think the only places you should wear a
suit are funerals.<span> </span>One of them
said, “Like, what if Hector fell off the roof tomorrow and we all had to go to
his funeral.<span> </span>Do you think <i>Dave</i></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";"> would wear a suit?<span> </span>I just can’t picture it.”</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">The other one
chimed in, “No, but Hector wouldn’t have a funeral.”</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">“That’s
true.<span> </span>He doesn’t exist.<span> </span>What <i>do</i></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";"> they do with illegal Mexicans?”</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">“I don’t know,
man.”</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">“They prolly
just throw ‘em in the river.”</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">This is a quiet
office.</span></span></div>
matt ruthermanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11452305801848754809noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-597731889758260570.post-19738812337385252012013-02-06T18:19:00.001-06:002013-02-06T18:19:16.896-06:00A regular June Cleaver<style> <!--
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">Over the phone,
Barbara is telling Jennifer to be a better mother.<span> </span>That seems like appropriate work conversation.<span> </span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">This is what
Jennifer said, “How am I supposed to make my kids sleep.<span> </span>I put them in their rooms so how am I
supposed to know if they’re sleeping or not?”<span> </span>What a mother.<span>
</span>And yes, she talks loudly enough for me to hear her.<span> </span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">She says CPS
“Won’t find nothin’” on her.<span> </span>She’s
a “good” mother and always there for her kids.<span> </span>She went out to eat (drink was implied) last night and left the kids alone.<span> </span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">“My friends are
the only ones who keep me going?” Jennifer said.<span> </span>What about her children?</span></span></div>
matt ruthermanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11452305801848754809noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-597731889758260570.post-59105804450254124822013-02-06T18:00:00.001-06:002013-02-06T18:13:06.964-06:00Character Introduction<h4>
Jennifer</h4>
<h4>
</h4>
<span style="font-size: small;">It's not unusual to know things about coworkers' families. For example, the name of her oldest child (Jennifer), how old she is (30 something), where she lives (a block from Barbara), how many children she has (four; 11 (Kaylee), 8 (Daniel), 4 (Felipe), and 2 (Sebastian)). </span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">There are some things, however, that I was surprised to find out. For instance, the father of Jennifer's children has been deported because he was here illegally. Or that these children are often left to fend for themselves when Jennifer goes out. It seems, or rather seemed, that these were things that should be kept to one's self. Luckily for me, this isn't always the case. </span>matt ruthermanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11452305801848754809noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-597731889758260570.post-30762709162712903202013-02-01T17:14:00.000-06:002013-02-01T17:14:22.239-06:00Not here, not like this<span style="font-size: small;"> <span style="font-family: Cambria;">Terry got a call from some sort of collector.
I didn’t know what kind because I didn’t ask. But he was very short with
her and told her to stop harassing him at work. The call ended
quickly. Apparently, this woman had previously been rude to his
wife. And I don’t know his wife, but from what I know of her, I am pretty
sure the rudeness went both ways. </span></span><style><!--
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<br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Cambria;">A couple days later, he was on the phone to the
newspaper to cancel their subscription because they are being
overcharged. He got snippy like he does so I told him so. For
somebody who worked in a call center, he was surprisingly rude. </span><span style="font-family: Times;"></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Cambria;">Then</span><span style="font-family: Times;"></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<span style="font-family: Cambria;"><span style="font-size: small;">His wife emails him and tells him to cancel his
cancellation. So now he has to call back the same person and reopen his
subscription. Immediate karmic revenge. </span> </span><span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 10pt;"> </span>
matt ruthermanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11452305801848754809noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-597731889758260570.post-270271038516395282013-01-30T17:33:00.001-06:002013-01-30T17:36:28.757-06:00He chew chew chooses obliviousness<span style="font-size: small;"> <span style="font-family: Cambria;">Terry eats lunch with earbuds in. He can’t
hear the disgusting noises his mouth makes as he chews with it hanging open.
He laughs and breathes heavily without using his nose. It’s a wonder he
doesn’t end up with his lunch all over his shirt. You would think hearing
your chewing in your head would make you do it more quietly, but it seems to
make him oblivious to his own symphony of bad manners. </span><span style="font-family: Cambria;"> </span></span><style><!--
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<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Cambria;">You <strike>should</strike> </span></span><span style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: small;">shouldn’t</span><span style="font-size: small;">
</span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Cambria;">hear him eat cereal.</span><span style="font-family: Times;"> </span></span>
matt ruthermanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11452305801848754809noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-597731889758260570.post-91610597191710701132013-01-29T17:41:00.000-06:002013-01-29T17:41:03.608-06:00A Vue to be killed<style> <!--
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Cambria;">Seconds after sitting down, Barbara started into
it. “Well, I made a big purchase this weekend.” Then in a hushed
voice, “I bought me a another vehicle.” </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Cambria;">I’ve been tuning her out more recently. She
also hasn’t been at her desk much. I’m glad though. It’s the only
way I can get any work done. With being interrupted, intentionally or
unintentionally, by Terry, if I were eavesdropping on her issues, I’d never get
anything done. Lucky for me, he doesn’t seem to be here this
morning. </span><span style="font-family: Times;"></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Times;"> </span><span style="font-family: Cambria;">I got Barbara’s story, loud and clear. As did anybody else
working on my floor. “I’m not sure yet if we really shoulda done
it. We just had to take the Malibu to the shop because the check engine
light came on after we put some gas in it. They said, for the light, the
transmission pan that was leakin’, the brakes, and we didn’t even ask them to
look at the brakes, near thousand dollars to fix all that. We just asked
them to fix the light. And I’m not really sure, how do they know it
wasn’t some freak thing with the light from the gas we put in?” So we
just pay for the light and go walk around the lot. Then we find this
little Saturn SUV thing. It’s called a Vue. It’s pretty cute.
There goes Reggie’s Social Security,” she said jokingly, but she wasn’t joking.
“But [Reggie] said, ‘You’ve lived without it before,’ and I was like I
know. But we’re gonna have to stop eatin out so much. I’m still not
convinced it was a good idea.” </span><span style="font-family: Times;"></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Times;"></span><span style="font-family: Cambria;">“How much did you pay for it?” her desk partner
asked, as if the gods themselves willed her to do so for my benefit. And
I’m really not sure what to make of her answer. She said, “They were
askin’ seventeen, but they dropped it to thirteen-somethin’. But it ended
up, with everything being like twenty-four.” What? Seriously? How
does that work? Eleven grand in extra fees and stuff? I bet these
two are a negotiator’s dream. I bet there are dozens layers of undercoating
on that car. She said she got some extra insurance on it, which I think
she meant was an extended warrantee. But still, that’s a lot of money for
a couple years of worry free* maintenance.<span> </span>Regardless, $24,000 for a used SUV made by a company she didn’t
even know was defunct.<span> </span>This will
not end well.</span></span></div>
matt ruthermanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11452305801848754809noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-597731889758260570.post-19424757439018951732013-01-28T17:33:00.002-06:002013-01-28T17:33:54.613-06:00I can play, too<span style="font-size: small;"> Terry<span style="font-family: Cambria;"> said one of the things you hear about people
from Arkansas is that they don’t wear shoes. Under my breath and to
myself, I said, “That is one of the many.” </span></span><style><!--
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<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Cambria;">You may ask how my back feels
considering I pat it so hard. Good. It feels good.</span></span><span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 10.0pt;"></span>
matt ruthermanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11452305801848754809noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-597731889758260570.post-6697655157604077732013-01-28T17:31:00.000-06:002013-01-28T17:31:18.304-06:00Please don't help me<style> <!--
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Cambria;">We get two emails each week when it’s time to
submit our timecards. They are due by 9:00 Monday morning. We get one email on Friday, and there’s another waiting for us once the weekend is
over. They send both regardless of if we’ve already submitted. The first thing Terry said to me when I walked in today was. “Don’t forget
to submit your timecard.” </span><span style="font-family: Times;"> </span></span></div>
matt ruthermanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11452305801848754809noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-597731889758260570.post-5453912818451303092013-01-25T17:45:00.001-06:002013-01-25T17:45:51.367-06:00Dog gone<span style="font-size: small;"> <span style="font-family: Cambria;">Reggie took away Barbara’s dog. He won’t tell
them what he did with it. He just keeps saying “nevermind.” She
doesn’t see think he put her down because everything he does she has to do it
with him. He said he took the dog to a place in Kansas. She thinks
he just dumped her off on the side of the road. She called animal control
to see if they had found the dog. They asked her for her address, “I’m
not givin’ them my address,” she laughed. “If they find the dog, they’re
liable to come fine us or something.”</span>
</span><style><!--
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Cambria;">Yes, ma’am, the punishment fits the crime. Or
maybe you should take your worthless husband out to the middle of
nowhere and drop him off. I wonder how many miles away she would be by
the time she stopped laughing. </span><span style="font-family: Times;"> </span></span></div>
matt ruthermanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11452305801848754809noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-597731889758260570.post-33199360911443971662013-01-24T17:49:00.001-06:002013-01-24T17:49:58.238-06:00The shortlist<style> <!--
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Cambria;">Terry said, in reference to my needing cold
medicine, “I’m a druggie. So if you ever need drugs, you know where to
come.” It’s funny. I think he thinks he’s being edgy. But actually,
it’s just a disappointment.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Cambria;"> </span> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"> </span><style><!--
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Cambria;">He started singing Sweet Home Alabama along with somebody’s
ring tone. Then he said, "I love that song. But who doesn’t like
Skynyrd?" I looked him in the eye and slowly raised my hand.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Cambria;">I’ve never seen anyone who talks to themselves
quite like Terry does. You think he would tone it down around other
people. He says things like, boy, and, golly.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
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</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Cambria;">He told me about eating contests at his
church. I asked him, “Isn’t gluttony a sin?” He said that if
you do it repeatedly it’s a sin, but that eating contests don’t count. </span><span style="font-family: Times;"> </span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Cambria;"></span><span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 10.0pt;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Cambria;"> </span><span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Cambria;"> </span><span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 10.0pt;"><br /></span><br />
matt ruthermanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11452305801848754809noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-597731889758260570.post-30519015103234480572013-01-23T18:34:00.000-06:002013-01-23T18:41:56.059-06:00Character Introduction<h2>
Terry</h2>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Cambria;">Luckily, I don’t have to say much about Terry. You’ll find he tells any listening ears
everything they might need to know about him. </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Cambria;">I will say that he’s one of the more unaware people
I’ve met. At the same time, he’s
not dumb. We share educational
backgrounds but that and our anatomical gender are where the similarities
end. </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Cambria;">Let’s get right to it.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Cambria;"> </span> <style><!--
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Cambria;">He told me he had something with sauerkraut on it
for lunch. Then he apologized to me in case I don’t like kraut. I
don’t. I hate it. It smells terrible, looks worse, and tastes like
somebody forgot to add several ingredients. I told him, “I absolutely
despise sauerkraut.” Then he opened his pungent item and it is currently
filling the office with its German essence.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<span style="font-family: Cambria;"><span style="font-size: small;">If you bring something that you apologize for, why
did you bring it? It’s like warming up fish in the microwave. No consideration.</span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><span style="font-size: small;"> </span> </span> </span><span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span></div>
matt ruthermanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11452305801848754809noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-597731889758260570.post-60398106428769917962012-10-17T19:05:00.000-05:002012-10-17T19:09:57.116-05:00You're on the right path<style> <!--
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: small;">Barbara called the school because they marked
Rachel absent in first hour. She is able to see her daughter’s grades in
real time. Isn’t that terrifying? Barbara said on this end of a phone call, “I don’t think
my daughter has a teacher with that name. Is it a substitute?” It’s
not. Barbara just didn’t know. Which is strange because she constantly remarks on Rachel’s grades, she just doesn’t know how to do anything about it. </span><br />
</div>
<span style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: small;">For instance, she had been assigned a paper several
weeks ago. Because that’s how they prepare kids for college where papers
will be due in a few days. By dragging them out for weeks. But
Rachel hadn’t done any work on it. Then, as goes the story, the teacher
yelled at her. Even “bugged out his eyes” at her. But Barbara
was trying to get hold of the teacher because her daughter just didn’t
understand how to do the paper. Rachel reportedly tried to stay during
the lunch period one day, but the teacher said she had to go to lunch even
though she doesn’t eat. She’s actually been saving her lunch money but
still asking her parents for money all the time. </span><br />
<br />
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<span style="font-family: Cambria;"><span style="font-size: small;">It’s hard to focus on one thing when I’m
overhearing these phone calls. So much gets thrown at me.</span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><span style="font-size: small;"> </span> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span></div>
<span style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: 12pt;"> </span>
matt ruthermanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11452305801848754809noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-597731889758260570.post-80399400974776395212012-10-01T17:45:00.000-05:002012-10-01T17:45:37.288-05:00Going down?<style> <!--
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<br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Cambria;">This morning on the elevator a couple gentlemen
were already talking and joking with each other. The lone woman out of
five people (myself included) on the elevator got off on the second
floor. The rest of us, a maintenance man, two suits and myself, rode to
our floor. </span><span style="font-family: Times;"></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Cambria;">One of the suits, the submissive one in the
conversation, said something about some professional therapy class he had to
take. The other suit replies with, “Jeeze, what is it? Shock
therapy?”</span><span style="font-family: Times;"></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Cambria;">His counterpart laughed, “Yeah. What, you
haven’t had it?”</span><span style="font-family: Times;"></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Cambria;">“Haha, I’ve been married for twenty years, I think
that’s shock therapy enough.” They chuckled. I shook my head and
walked down the hall as soon as the elevator doors opened. They followed
at a more leisurely pace.<span> </span></span><span style="font-family: Times;"></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Cambria;">Adding to what he thought was hilarious, the
dominant suit said, “I feel like I’ve been waterboarded already.
Nothing’s torture anymore.”</span><span style="font-family: Times;"></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Cambria;">They guffawed until they were out of
earshot. </span><span style="font-family: Times;"></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Cambria;">Tell me that guy doesn’t vote republican.</span><span style="font-family: Times;"> </span></span></div>
matt ruthermanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11452305801848754809noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-597731889758260570.post-71375927954583392732012-09-26T17:28:00.000-05:002012-09-26T17:28:35.716-05:00Mmmm, minimalism<style> <!--
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Cambria;">Can we not enjoy silence? Can we not exchange
a greeting and have that be the end of it. Why are you always looking for
some sort of conversation starter? </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Cambria;">“How’s that weather treating you?” When the
temperature drops outside, it makes me cold. When it is higher, I am
warmer. You?</span><span style="font-family: Times;"></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Cambria;">“You ready for the end of the year?” No, I’m
not. I was thinking of putting it off for a couple weeks. </span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Cambria;">I will say hello. You will say
hello. If there is something about which we should speak, it will be
spoken, if not, take your greeting and like it. We have acknowledged each
other. End communication. </span><span style="font-family: Times;"> </span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span>matt ruthermanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11452305801848754809noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-597731889758260570.post-22619839381311082052012-09-26T17:24:00.002-05:002012-09-26T17:24:56.184-05:00Willful ignorance<style> <!--
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Cambria;">Barbara knows she speaks incorrectly. In a
phone conversation, in response to something on the other end of a telephone, she
said, “It don’t matter.” She paused for the other person to speak and then, in a
sigh, “Dooooesn’t maaatterrr.” So she knows she is ignorant. Isn’t that
mind blowing?</span><span style="font-family: Times;"> </span></span></div>
matt ruthermanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11452305801848754809noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-597731889758260570.post-19397958975036646812012-09-20T21:34:00.002-05:002012-09-20T21:34:21.315-05:00I'd like to thank all the little people<style> <!--
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Cambria;">John has accepted a new position elsewhere on my
floor.<span> </span>The “I won’t be
far” meter has started. It is at two. He has said it twice and
it’s not even twenty after eight. I’m going to start hearing him complain
and moan and follow it up with, “But I don’t have to worry about it anymore.”
Without the least bit of awareness that he is basically saying, “I am better
than you now. I don’t have to deal with these little problems anymore.”</span><span style="font-family: Times;"> </span></span></div>
matt ruthermanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11452305801848754809noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-597731889758260570.post-61747847061646230302012-09-18T20:37:00.004-05:002012-09-18T20:37:49.376-05:00A woman's work<style> <!--
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Cambria;">It worries me that Barbara is the brains of that
operation. Reggie always has her call to take care of his business.
And by business I mean consulting with lawyers and the unemployment office and
therapists and doctors.<span> </span>If it weren’t
for her, I don’t know where he’d be.<span>
</span>Probably in the pocket and on the pedestal of some other sucker of a
woman.<span> </span></span><span style="font-family: Times;"></span></span></div>
matt ruthermanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11452305801848754809noreply@blogger.com0