Tidbits

Barbara thinks her fish is smart because he floats to the surface when she gets the food out at the same time every day.  

So Jennifer left her kids alone the other day.  One of the neighbor kids came over and Sebastian ended up with two staples in his head because he "fell off a stool."  Now there is talk at the apartment complex of calling CPS.  

We just taught Barbara how to copy/paste on her computer.  First we had to teach her how to right click.  Forget about keyboard shortcuts.

Barbara is asking Rachel about her grades.  The funny part is, Barbara can’t even pronounce most of the classes she’s asking her about. Microkenomics?  Not sure I’m familiar with that one.  

Terry showed us some family photos he had taken at a department store.  I could have taken more appealing pictures of salted meats. 

Not here, not like this

 Terry got a call from some sort of collector.  I didn’t know what kind because I didn’t ask.  But he was very short with her and told her to stop harassing him at work.  The call ended quickly.  Apparently, this woman had previously been rude to his wife.  And I don’t know his wife, but from what I know of her, I am pretty sure the rudeness went both ways.   

A couple days later, he was on the phone to the newspaper to cancel their subscription because they are being overcharged.   He got snippy like he does so I told him so.  For somebody who worked in a call center, he was surprisingly rude. 

Then

His wife emails him and tells him to cancel his cancellation.  So now he has to call back the same person and reopen his subscription.  Immediate karmic revenge.    

 

He chew chew chooses obliviousness

 Terry eats lunch with earbuds in.  He can’t hear the disgusting noises his mouth makes as he chews with it hanging open.  He laughs and breathes heavily without using his nose.  It’s a wonder he doesn’t end up with his lunch all over his shirt.  You would think hearing your chewing in your head would make you do it more quietly, but it seems to make him oblivious to his own symphony of bad manners.  

You should shouldn’t hear him eat cereal. 

I can play, too

 Terry said one of the things you hear about people from Arkansas is that they don’t wear shoes.  Under my breath and to myself, I said, “That is one of the many.”  

You may ask how my back feels considering I pat it so hard.  Good.  It feels good.

Please don't help me

We get two emails each week when it’s time to submit our timecards.  They are due by 9:00 Monday morning.  We get one email on Friday, and there’s another waiting for us once the weekend is over.  They send both regardless of if we’ve already submitted.  The first thing Terry said to me when I walked in today was. “Don’t forget to submit your timecard.”   

The shortlist

Terry said, in reference to my needing cold medicine, “I’m a druggie.  So if you ever need drugs, you know where to come.”  It’s funny.  I think he thinks he’s being edgy.  But actually, it’s just a disappointment.

  

 

He started singing Sweet Home Alabama along with somebody’s ring tone.  Then he said, "I love that song.  But who doesn’t like Skynyrd?"  I looked him in the eye and slowly raised my hand.

I’ve never seen anyone who talks to themselves quite like Terry does.  You think he would tone it down around other people.  He says things like, boy, and, golly.

He told me about eating contests at his church.  I asked him, “Isn’t gluttony a sin?”   He said that if you do it repeatedly it’s a sin, but that eating contests don’t count.   

 
 
  

Character Introduction

Terry

Luckily, I don’t have to say much about Terry.  You’ll find he tells any listening ears everything they might need to know about him. 

I will say that he’s one of the more unaware people I’ve met.  At the same time, he’s not dumb.  We share educational backgrounds but that and our anatomical gender are where the similarities end. 

Let’s get right to it.

 

He told me he had something with sauerkraut on it for lunch.  Then he apologized to me in case I don’t like kraut.  I don’t.  I hate it.  It smells terrible, looks worse, and tastes like somebody forgot to add several ingredients.  I told him, “I absolutely despise sauerkraut.”  Then he opened his pungent item and it is currently filling the office with its German essence.

If you bring something that you apologize for, why did you bring it? It’s like warming up fish in the microwave.  No consideration.